Remember -

NO
MEANS
NO

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You are not alone. You are not to blame and it is not your fault.

...

• boy next door or down the street,
• varsity captain you have or had a crush on,
• guy you met at a party,
• associate - someone your friend knows,
• friend,
• boyfriend,
• relative.

What?

Sexual Violence is any form of unwanted, unwelcome or coercive sexual contact. Sexual assault, which is usually called rape, includes vaginal, oral, or anal sex without the victim's consent or with a victim who is unable to consent. A victim who is unable to consent means:

• a victim under the age of 13,
• a victim under age 16 when the assailant is at least 4 years older, or,
• a victim with diminished mental capacity, which can mean a victim who is drugged, drunk, high, unconscious, or has a developmental disability.

Criminal sexual conduct, sexual harassment and lewdness are forms of sexual violence. These are also serious crimes in New Jersey.

Some myths you may have heard:

• kissing/rubbing means you have to have intercourse,
• going back to the house means you want to have sex,
• if your date pays for dinner, movies, or anything on a date, you owe him sex,
• if a man is aroused then he must have sex,
• if you have had sex with someone previously, that person can have sex with you anytime.

The facts are:

• you have the right to change your mind about having sex,
• kissing only means you agree to kiss,
• just because you are in his house, he is not entitled to sex,
• no one owes anybody sex for money, or for buying you something,
• sex is not a necessity for anyone, even if aroused.

This means that:
You don't have to go all the way with him just because...

• he pays your way to the movies or takes you out to dinner,
• you go back to his house or, you start to kiss.

NO ONE is entitled to have sex with anyone without their consent.

If this happens to you, you may feel:

If this happens to you:

• reach out for help, you are not alone
• get to a safe place
• get medical attention, whether you plan to report the rape or not
• call a rape crisis center
• go to a hospital emergency room
• if you are going to report the crime to the police, DON'T take a shower or bath, douche, or go to the bathroom
• talk to someone that you can trust

You may be worried about Sexually Transmitted Diseases, HIV/AIDS and pregnancy. When you seek medical attention, ask the hospital about prevention of pregnancy and anonymous testing sites for STDs and HIV/AIDS.

.NJ Coalition Against Sexual Assault
.2333 Whitehorse Mercerville Rd., Suite J
.Trenton, New Jersey 08619
.Tel: 609-631-4450 Fax: 609-631-4453